It says something about my current situation that for the first time in my life I read the “Iowa Crop and Weather Report”. Of course living off the grid would get one more “in tune with nature” meaning checking the weather report to see just how freaking hot it’s going to get each day and wether or not it will rain EVER and if the apocalypse is predicted by weeks end or not... But actually reading the crop report, why? Well, to see just how out of the ordinary this weather is, I suppose, to figure out just what I walked into thinking life without A/C would be merely hot rather than scorching, sweltering, baking... I could go on.

In any case, here are the highlights from said report: “Iowa endured a very hot and humid week.” Thank you Harry Hillaker, State Climatologist, couldn’t have said it better myself really... Here’s more: “The heat index officially climbed above 110 degrees in some areas on every day except Thursday (21st) and Sunday (24th) with a maximum reading of 117 at Spencer on Monday. Unofficial heat indices soared as high as 130 degrees.” I’ll vouch for that. And finally: “Rain amounts were highly variable with very little over the northwest and far southern Iowa while heavy rain fell over much of east central Iowa, which had been the driest portion of the state in recent months. Weekly rain totals varied from none at Rock Valley, Sheldon and Keosauqua to 6.07 inches near Stanley in northern Buchanan County and 5.92 inches at De Witt.” Since we live about fifteen minutes away from Keosaqua we fall into that very special “no rain” category. I feel almost hand picked for this experience by Nature, as though God himself is teaching me a lesson about the ramifications of turning away from that, his most wondrous creation, climate control.

All that is manageable, however. I simply open all the yurt windows at night and sleep six inches away from a powerful box fan. Since the sun is particularly blazing, the solar panels charge the battery bank at warp speed and we can run the fan night and day no problem. I open the west window in the morning and close the door and south windows to keep as much of the heat at bay as possible. When I get home after work I reverse the process and close up the west, opening the windows on the south east that the direct sun is no longer touching. The ventilation bubble on top is open as often as possible to encourage some movement of air through the house. Despite all this, we can’t stay inside for longer than five or ten minutes once the heat of the day hits. Even that brief amount of time is enough to warrant a shower, my entire house is a sauna. Oh and about that shower?

The water catchment tank is dry - it took me by surprise. I went to the outdoor sink to wash dishes after dinner, turned on the faucet, and a tiny stream of tepid water gurgled out. I was puzzled at first and turned the knob back and forth for a few seconds out of some faith that the water would magically appear just like in the traditionally plumbed world. No water at all. The entire 500 gallon tank is empty as can be and until it rains some substantial amount it will stay that way.

This means I have to bring water to wash dishes in my two gallon dispenser each day after work. I sheepishly stop by various friends houses and fill up before heading home. This is about enough to rinse each dish and add it to the ever growing pile in a sawed off 55 gallon barrel. I call that the “someday I’ll wash those” container. We do have drinking water, brought in from town in five gallon jugs.

All of that is manageable, there’s always a refreshing breeze at some point and those dishes will get done eventually but... I’ve found my Achilles heel - showering. The solar shower still needs a new pump, but that no longer matters since there is no water to shower with at this point. The idea of jumping in the pond was one I thought would work, but the pond is hotter than body temperature except in the middle, down deep. Anyway, I can’t use my green apple shampoo in there. It claims to be organic but something tells me it will kill frogs in seconds flat.

So I am writing this to you from a friends house where I sit in air conditioned, sweet smelling, comfort, because if I can’t get my hair washed at least every other day I will lose my freaking mind. I feel like a wimp, a sellout, a Judas to the cause of off the grid living. I’ve sold my soul for a clean and tingly scalp.

Tags: yurt living, off the grid living, heat wave, drought, lack of water